Friday, March 10, 2006


Speaking of baseball

I try not to pimp out my blog over here, but I put a bit of nostalgic baseball entry up and it might ring true with some of you guys.

and chris, I took care of that profile thing.

and strulson, everything came back negative.

and laurie, that baby ain't mine.

and mark, that baby is mine.

and steph, that baby is mine, but I'm claiming it ain't.

and craig, kill a couple hundred asahi for me.

Thursday, March 09, 2006


baseball (again)

So after a lengthy discussion with Mr. Tim Matlack, he convinced me that head-t0-head is not the way to go. He explained that it isn't like a weekly thing, but rather each stat for each day (hits, for example) counts as a win or a loss. So if we had 10 stat categories and 15 games, the record would be like 100-50 at the end of the first week. This sounds dumb.

So he suggests we do a rotisserie league, which, after I read about it, makes sense. Here are the rules. Everyone would get points for where their team ranked in the different stat categories (which we're looking to make 6 for pitchers, 6 for hitters):

Pitchers: Innings Pitched, Wins, Saves, Strikeouts, ERA, WHIP
Hitters: Total bases, Stolen bases, RBI, Runs, Home runs, On base percentage

So it would be important, remember, to pick players who fit these categories. I know some of these may be complicated, so if you need an explanation, let me know.

The positions are going to be slightly different from last year: 2 CI, 2 MI, 1 C, 3 OF, 1 Utility, 6 Pitchers, as well as 4 bench players and one DL spot. It will be a 19-round draft.

It's going to be $5. We don't know how many people we're going to have yet, so I'm thinking second place will get $10 and first place the rest. I'm requiring the money before we start, because Chris Strulson and my friend from home never paid me last time. You can mail me a check if you want.

Any questions?



Oh man. This is a site of a dude who pretends to cyber with people online, but really just messes with them. It's pretty vulgar and certainly hilarious.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006



I miss you all. I had a dream the other night that we were all here at my house for some kind of a party and Mark, you showed up. And I was all like, 'Mark Fleming! Where have you been." And you had a red beard. And everyone else was teasing you about it Mark, but then I felt bad for you and reached to touch it and when I did, it wasn't there!!! It was like a beard hologram.


Guess who's back in the mutherf'ng house

Well, well, well I am back from the great abyss I like to call Florida. I would like you all to know that cruises are good times, but Jake I wouldnt bring someone like Laurie cause the only way to get yuor money's worth is to eat like 8-12 hours a day, Suffice it to say I got my money's worth. I was suppossed to be back monday night, but di not arrive back in Lewisburg until teusday evening. Why do you ask?.....well let me recall my tale........: It started by my gf and I wanting to get back to Lewisburg ASAP because we both had lots to do( wink, wink) so while we were scheduled for a flight at 3pm we were able to get on a flight at 1:45 pm. SO we board the plane at 1:30 and settled in for a nice pleasant flight. As we are sitting there the captain announces that we are going to be delayed because Air Force 2 was getting ready to take off and we had to let them go first and get time to clear. This sounded reasonable so we continued our sitting. After a bit we realize we had been sitting quite a bit and at this point the captain comes back on and says now a red light popped up during a maintenance check and that it would be an additional 10 -15 min. So at 4pm the captain announces that there is still a red light. At 4:30 pm he explains that there seems to be a malfunctioned part that needs to be fixed, however this part is not at this airport and needs to be flown in from Charlotte, but after that the plane should be good to go so departure is now at 7pm (good thing we got that earlier flight right).......well the part gets there at 7 and so at 8 they finally start boarding people on the plane. However they only board about half the flight then realize they havent checked to see if the new part works so they need to fire up the engines first. Well Big suprise the part was not the problem. SO they had to unboard the plane (luckily me and my fam never got on) Finally at 9:30 pm they say they give us a hotel room and book us on a flight at 10 the next morning. SO we spent about 11 hours in an airport on monday. (not a good way to end the vacation). well I am all typed out and I am not even sure this made sense because I stopped reading it halfway through, so if you're still here God Bless. I love you all.......if you have any other questions about my vacation feel free to call, email, comment, or use telepathy. Bye!!!!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006



So what progress has been made on the weekend of Craig? At last check, people were trying to assign others to be in charge of it. Have either Erik or Strulson made any progress/remembered that it was in the works/cared?

Don't mean to be a pessimist, but "this is what happens when you fuck someone in the ass."

Name that quote.


Yo Chris

You excited about the new pearl jam album in May? I just downloaded the single for free from their site, which is seriously cool.

Monday, March 06, 2006


Speed Demon

It's been awhile since I made an actual post because things have been so hectic at work. Nothing too interesting (except for a story that happened on our opening day) - but I'll save that goody for another time. So I'm making an effort to sit down and write out a little something to you guys.

About a month ago I was on my way in to work and I had turned out of my apartment building onto the road (which is still a residential area - not a main road). Granted this was the 15th day straight I was working - all I was thinking about was that I was late - since it was 8:00 on the dot and how much work I had to do waiting for me. When I passed a cop on the road, who immediately turned around & followed me for over a mile. Then he turned the lights on and pulled me over. Of course the first word out of my mouth is a curse word. I actually had no idea why he pulled me over - but I still had PA plates on my car. Turns out I was going 42 in a 25mph zone. Wonderful. Now I tried the tears & explaining that I was going in to work...blah, blah. But nothing. I got slapped with a ticket (literally - it hurt). Now this isn't my first ticket - I definitely deserved the first one I got. But I seriously had no idea why he was pulling me over that early in the morning when I was innocently driving to work. My favorite part was when he was explaining to me (right after I said I just moved down here) where the courthouse was - he actually said - do you know where the courthouse is? I'm like - NO! I know how to drive the 3 miles from my apartment to the expo center & back. Ridiculous, I tell you.

Anyways, today was my court date - because I was a rebel and didn't plead guilty to just send money to the officer's children's college fund. It was the craziest ordeal I have ever seen. I took off this morning from work to find myself in hickville at a courthouse that looked like it was straight out of the Andy Griffth Show. Yes, they did put me through a metal detector when I went in...but when I asked the officer where should I go - he said through the only door that was in the lobby. And I said - that's it?! And sure enough - a one room courthouse with all the disobeying traffic offenders from the county.

I think out of everyone my case was the least threatening to the general public. The officer that pulled me over showed up with a baseball bat in a plastic bag for one of the other cases that was there. As much as I wanted to hate the guy - he was doing his job and all I wanted to know was the story behind the baseball bat. Anywho - after standing before the judge I basically had to still pay the fine, but nothing is on my record. But they do offer drivers school for traffic violations - which means you sit in front of a computer and take a test online. Ummm...sure. I now feel safe on the road knowing that the girl who was tried before me in court today can now continue to drive 95 in a 65mph zone. Oh and her case was dismissed because the officer didn't show up.

I have now come to the conclusion that traffic violations & speeding tickets are just purely bad luck. Because you can't really avoid them - there will always be a time when you slip over that speed limit or when you are passing a school bus and are almost past it when the yellow lights are turned on & you get pulled over 5 miles down the road for disobeying a school bus stop (some other lady in the court today). I have no faith in the traffic system.


The Simpsons

In case you ever wondered what it'd be like to see the simpsons portrayed by live is your chance


New Game

Hey Waiter, it's monday and no one remembered to start 173. So let's do hey waiter instead.


Hey waiter, there's a guitar in my soup...

Achording to you!



Ok. I've scoured the Internet for a site that compares to yahoo with no success. Yahoo is the best site for baseball if we want to set our own rules, have a draft and easily communicate for free. That's the good news. The bad news is, we can't do a half season. It's a complete season or nothing. However, we have some options. Tim and I were discussing the possibility of doing a head-to-head season. The rules are here. This may make it more interesting, as everyone would have to check more often and it would take a while for a team to be officially knocked out of contention.

The baseball season is going to come soon, so we need to draft and get going. Let me know if you'd rather do head-to-head or like we did it last year.

Sunday, March 05, 2006



Anyone else watching these? If so, I'd love to hear your comments. I'll start it off: I think Dolly Parton is pieced together with used napkins from Ihop.

Oh, and I didn't see any of the nominated films. I probably saw 5 movies in the theater all year. I need a girlfriend.

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