Wednesday, March 21, 2007


Hi Everyone

So how am I supposed to brag about being in the lead of the NCAA pool if nobody ever posts over there? I'm just going to have to drag my shameful lack of humility over to the blog.

I noticed I was the only one with a 173 joke so far this week. I take it as a testament to my awesomeness that I silenced each of you with a joke so witty that you literally had no follow-up.

I've told this story a few times already, but I don't think I've ever posted it, so here goes:

I was walking off the DC metro a few weeks ago on my way home from photography class, minding my own business and daydreaming about who would win in a fight, batman or tommy the green ranger, when the girl in front of my stopped suddenly. It seems she was taking off her headphones and accidentally managed to wrap them around a pole in the middle of the train.

The headphones were the type that clip onto your ear, rather than the headband style or earplug kind. The reason this is important is because the clips actually caught on the wire, like a miniature grappling hook. The girl had pretty much grappled herself to the metro car's pole (+1 for batman).

Two other people in front of me turned around to help her, but when a metro train stops, the doors only remain open for a few moments and then close somewhat violently. It's unlike an elevator in that these doors will not retract. If, in a moment of sight-gag hilarity, you ever decide to visit DC and thrust your balls outward towards the pentagon, you can be sure that your protest will be quickly neutered.

The girl was totally screwed as she had yet to remove her ipod from her pocket and the headphones were becoming more and more tangled around the pole. The two other helpers bailed so that they could get off the train before missing their stop, so it was just me and her frantically trying to undo the knot. As I worked the cord, my inner maniac magee took over. I worried that I would make the knot worse and have to abandon her, but, as if in slow motion, I unkinked the cord and hurried her off of the train just as the doors were closing. If I had been wearing a hat, I would have surely knocked it off of my own head just to experience the thrill of reaching back for it in true Indiana Jones fashion.

On the long walk up the platform to exit the metro, the girl I had helped was incredibly embarrassed -- I could tell from her red cheeks and ample bosom. She thanked me profusely, and when I just smiled, she thanked me profanely, which seemed rather unlady-like, but who am I to judge? I am just one man, riding the train and helping unshuffle those whose shuffles have gone kerfluffle.

Monday, March 19, 2007




This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?