Friday, December 02, 2005


For the rest of us...


Where in the world is...

Craig Chassen?

(do it rockapella)

boo wopp shibba dopp don doow

Thursday, December 01, 2005


Speaking of fantasy football...

Should I start Warner or Palmer this week? Palmer's been amazing, but Warner is hot and is facing San Fran. I usually base all my decisions on who has the hotter wife, so here's the matchup:

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Brilliant Satirical Newspaper causes full out brawl at shelter

I don't care how long it is, read it, suckers and you won't hate it either .....
So a few days ago, I checked out from my lovely SA public library with six floors (see how I casually dropped in that modifier worthy of bragging rights with literary dorks all around the world) ... anyway, I checked out The Onion's "Our Dumb Century." I suppose I was feeling nostalgic of days when I would check the more than once every month or would peruse through such books while trying to stay amused in Erik's room during commercial breaks of "Tailgaters."
I took the book over to Catholic Worker House one evening to read and left it on a shelf. Rule number one when you work in a place where thirty to sixty of your homeless friends come through: Don't leave anything on the shelf that you would like to see again at the end of the day (hence why my housemates often begin the morning trying to stuff me between the Spanish Paprika and the three-week old garlic cloves).
I come in from working in the office to find four or five guys huddled around something, pointing and yelling, a few in languages I don't understand. My german housemate has the book in his hand, in disbelief that American Media can be so dumb to print something so obviously wrong about sacred sacred German history (I believe he was in the 1930's to 1940's section ... not exactly the best period for a German to be reading a newspaper like the Onion.) Further, a few of the soupline guests were also appalled to read several articles about vietnam and reacted with a series of spanish and english words with a few obligatories "that's fucked up man"s in there too. As most of the soupline guests are always reading about history and even more have fought in the wars that make that history, they naturally are upset when there is a story about Cheerios and Vietnam (yes, i just made that up). I suppose the Onion has not yet reached the over 50 crowd.
It took only about 10 minutes to really really convince everyone it was a fake newspaper, and only five more to convince my housemate that American children are not in fact taught that Hitler was a crybaby who wanted to have sex with his mother (ok maybe I lied to him about that one).
In the end, the Onion book was not lost, and eventually people stopped complaining, although I did hear some discussions later in which soupline guests were arguing about how far you should take satire. ("that's fucked up, man" was of course still applied). Aaaah, the onion is such a great tool for academic discussions!!!

Oh and in regards to Hans ....

You all are missing one of the most important parts of the letter. It should read like this, "To whom it may concern: I am writing to give Hans Wennberg the highest recommendation as a professor in the communications dept. No other professor could down a diet pepsi WHILE having his fly strategically down in front of the whole class. Additionally, I would like to point out for the record a little known fact: he did make a self-directed multi-media presentation for a prison once."
That's what ya'll need.

Miss you all more than you miss Dennis and Saturday morning Brunch ... seriously I do.



Bad Trade

I open up my Yahoo sports account to do some research for my fantasy football writings this week, and what do I find? An article by my boss reminding me of what a horrible trade I made earlier in the season with Jake.

"When the '05 season ends, it will be looked back upon as Donte' Stallworth's breakout year, says John Hansen in his fantasy market report."

That Carson Palmer/Donte Stallworth for Trent Green/T.J. Houshmandzadeh deal is looking like a big stinker now.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Linthands is officially on the scene

Problem has now been officially solved. You can all look forward to reading mindless posts from the person who has spent the most time in 255 without ever living there.

In other news I need to write Wennberg a letter for him to become a professor at the college. Anyone care to post important info I should take into consideration?


Nothing new to trash like you

I am just writing to say that I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving and that I miss ya'll, except for Chris and Craig who I saw this weekend. I would also like to apologize to Chris for wanting to shave his arms whilst he was asleep, although it prolly woulda been funny. At this time I am reannouncing the fact that Yardley is the place to be for New Years. Oh and for anyone who wants to know I am the Zeus of Fantasy Football. goodbye for now

Monday, November 28, 2005


Not that this applies to anyone in particular...

Girls start an alliance against video-game-playing boyfriends.

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