Saturday, January 14, 2006


Chicken Capital, U.S.A.

Check this out:

"Pamela Anderson is leading a charge to remove a bust of KFC founder Colonel Harland Sanders from the state Capitol.

The actress called the Kentucky native's likeness 'a monument to cruelty' to chickens in a statement issued by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the animal rights group."

Weird that Pam is mad about a bust, considering! Hiyo!
I think Pam just wants to have total domination over the cock. Hiyo!

P.S. Can you tell I'm bored?

Friday, January 13, 2006


An Evening at Applebee's

Hello Friends, How r all u? Well just thought I would post a little sumthin-sumthinup in this biznitch. On Wednesday me and my friends (my friends and I for you english majors) ventured down to Applebees (hence the title of the post) for some karoake kraziness. Upon arrival I notice that the only people that are singing are these 4 old people. While I have nothing against old people, these ones kept singing very depressing slow country songs which was kinda not fun, but they did have cool names to go up to do Karoake, for example there was "Handsome" Harry who was handsome and his hand shook when he held the microphone, so he also had sound effects. I eventually was able to break into the old people circle and broke out a little Styxx, thats right Renegade mutherfukers. Now this song is a) long b) kinda high in the note range, so I felt bad for everyone there. My friend Kyle then offered me redemption by asking if I would sing with him. We did a little Garth Brookes ( Friends in Low Places) which the crowd was pretty enthuised about so I was feeling good. Then randomly this lady that was there just walked up and stood in between me and Kyle, now this lady was not attractive by any sense of the word, but I was like ok she prolly just wants to sing so I held the microphone up for her. Well she just stood there and stared at me, it was soooo creepy, and she stayed there the whole time. That ended my night of karoake, but we did make my friend sing the song Elvira because that was the name of the girl he had been dating for a while and had just broken up with. That is whats been goin down up here in the 'Burg. And just remember I love Ho's, I just dont pay them.

Thursday, January 12, 2006


New College Humor

So after two failed attempts at getting things published on College Humor (the first I published here and the second was deemed "not related enough to college), I decided to go back to the well and revamp (slightly) one I wrote back in the day. But now that I'm in the game again, hopefully I'll have the confidence to keep writing. Check out my new one at this page. I also updated my blurty. Oh, and this is a great search engine. And don't forget that the website that you are looking at is here. Okay, I'm done.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Fun Comic Time with Jake


Wow...deader than Chris' sex life.

This blog is certainly stumbling into the new year -- where is everyone? I know you bums didn't get real jobs yet, so that can't be the reason.

I just started up a photo class on Tuesday nights -- the guy teaching it is old but funny. He likes to take nude female portraits, so I'm getting more than my money's worth during critique time. He keeps asking me if I'm available for a session, though...

Laurie and I went to a hibachi place last weekend and I managed to catch -1 pieces of shrimp in my mouth when the chef tossed food at us. It was a pathetic performance and Laurie made me sleep on the couch later that night so I could learn from my failures. Luckily there were cheetos in the couch cushions, so I didn't go hungry.

On a weirder note -- someone left 20 (out of a 24 pack) of Voltron temporary tattoos out in the main lounge, so I stole them. These things were made by Topps circa 1984, so I'm pretty sure actually applying a tatoo results in severe hemmoraghing and cardiac arrest. So my weekend's planned. I'll try to put some photos of them up so you can call enjoy their sheer ridiculousness.

Anyway, time to get back to work. Try not to be so indimidated by my awesome post that you are afraid to post again later.

Monday, January 09, 2006



Need a confirmation on a rumor and it has nothing to do with any of your itching rashes or which of you guys were seen making out with which other guy and a penguin at the same time....
It has to do, indeed, with yes that beloved 15 minutes known as ... adult swim.
Maybe we've already discussed this, or maybe no one even cares, but are they coming out with an AquaTeen movie?
The other weekend, I was tagging along to a comic book store (yes that's right; I was in several that day) with this cool nerd of a boyfriend I picked up at a Collector's Convention and saw in a magazine an article about a possible big screen debut by Meatwad and the gang. However, the other "articles" in this "publication" were questionable in terms of whether they were truth or, well, bull shit intended to make all us nerds roll on the floor.
So, again, maybe way-old news, or maybe no one else cares, but will I get to see an AquaTeen movie or not????
Please don't leave me hanging like the Moonanites out in outerspace!
Of course miss you all like New Jersey misses Mark Flemming and its dignity,

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