Saturday, November 12, 2005

 

Lock out

I'm still getting adjusted to living in my new place. One of the things that is different up here in Lorton is that you can only tell if the front door is locked from the outside. So if you are leaving the house you can't just check the inside you have to remember to check the outside. This may seem simple but I assure you it is not. This evening my sister went to check the mail and I went with her because I didn't know where our box is located. You have to walk half way down the street to get to it. Jenny decided to come outside for whatever reason and sit on our front step. As she was leaving the house and closing the door she said "wouldn't it be funny if the door was locked." I turned around and said "yeah hilarious". As I'm saying all this she is trying to open the door and realizes it's locked. I thought she was joking, but alas she was not. Now this wouldn't be a big deal if say...
1. I was wearing a jacket
2. Jenny was wearing shoes
3. We had a key hidden outside
4. We had a cell phone
5. We knew someone who lived closer than 20 minutes away who had a key to our house

It all worked out in the end and we got back into our place and hour and a half later.

Friday, November 11, 2005

 

Speaking of Canceled Junk:

I just realized the executive producer from Home Movies works down the hall from me -- she moved to PBS Kids in 2003.

holy crap

She was also in charge of Cartoon Network original programming.

I think I feel faint.

 

It's official

"The Bluth clan of Fox's ratings-challenged "Arrested Development" is also headed for the exit after Fox cut the third-season order on the Emmy-winning comedy to 13 episodes.

As for the demise of "Arrested," it comes just as the acclaimed comedy came back this week after a hiatus to make room for Fox's baseball coverage. The two back-to-back episodes averaged a paltry 4 million viewers Monday, sending Fox to fifth place in the 8 p.m. hour and putting a dent on the ratings of its lead-out, the rookie drama "Prison Break."

There is a possibility that the show will be shopped around, but its high cost is expected to be prohibitive for a cable network."

A memorial will be held in my room at 3 o'clock today, where i freeze my DVD and masturbate to Lindsay Funke before accidentally hitting play and finishing with George Michael on the screen.

 

Homecoming Pics

First off, congrats Chris! That's really great news. Second, here are some pics to lessen the blow of the Arrested Development news:





 
Yesterday I got a check for something I had written for the first time ever. See, one of the people I work with at Rowan is the mother of a fantasy football expert and lately he has been frustrated by one of his writers. I jokingly suggested to her that her son should give me a try and two weeks later I had my first assignment. Aside from staying up until 4 in the morning last Wednesday night, it’s been pretty sweet, although I now know way more about some players than I ever thought possible. Look at this (or skip it, I don’t care):

Cedric Benson (RB, Chi) – It looks like we’ll finally be able to see what Benson can do with 15+ carries if RB Thomas Jones is ailing. RB Adrian Peterson got the impressive fantasy stats last week (6 rushes for 58 yards and a score), but Benson has been showing flashes more often and would most likely be the 1st and 2nd down back without Jones. He’s been able to gain 3 yards on every carry and could prove to be a better fit for the offense than Jones, who has a tendency to put the team in 2nd and 11 situations. If OL Ruben Brown is ready to play this week, it will be a boost to an already stellar Bear offensive line. Bear head coach Lovie Smith made no attempt to hide his intentions last week, saying after the win against New Orleans, “We get off the plane running the ball.” Be sure to check the injury updates all week and if Jones can’t play, this will be a great spot for Benson. Jones didn’t practice on Thursday, so if he can’t go on Friday, things will be looking good for Benson.

So things seem pretty sweet: I’m padding my resume, I’m getting paid peanuts, I’m writing about football, I’m actually pretty good with my predictions. But, as always, there is a catch...my fantasy teams (that I am playing for money) are a combined 5-13. This guy’s website has 16,000 subscribers, some of them celebrities like Meat Loaf, Paul Rudd and Fred “The Crime Dog” McGriff, and they are listening to some kid whose teams are 5-13. I doubt that the Crime Dog would be pleased if he knew this.

The ray of sunshine is that his website may extend to fantasy baseball this spring, where, if you remember, I murdered all you chumps.

 

Bad News...

This just in from the resident TV nerd of the group:

Fox has pulled two of its series from the schedule for the remainder of the November sweep: Arrested Development (from 20th/Imagine/Hurwitz Company) and Kitchen Confidential (20th/New Line/Darren Star Prods). Look to the Monday 8-9p time period for a repeat airing of Prison Break. Kitchen Confidential is one of the new shows that has yet to receive a full season order from the network (the others on Fox not yet picked up are Reunion and Killer Instincts, tho additional scripts ordered for both). Additionally, Arrested Development's episode order has been cut from 22 down to 13, a network move which sounds like the final nail. Both shows are expected to return in December.

A moment of silence for the creative genius behind this show. Why do all the good ones die before the 5th season?

Futurama
Home Movies
Arrested Development

(sigh)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

 

And now....Nerding it Up....with your host, Mark

Inifinite Crisis, you ask? I debated putting this off until tomorrow, since Number 2 comes out then, but I figured "What the hell?! I'm bored!"

I apologize in advance to all the girls reading this. But I'm a nerd, and god-willing, one day we all will be. Then I could get dates!

As some of you know, the DC Universe has been undergoing a Crisis. These pop up every so often, to undo/clarify/screwup the past few years of DC, and have every hero show up in every other comic, thereby increasing sales to compete with the Ultimate Wolverine and Harry Potter Team Up (in stores next week!).

So anyway, Infinite Crisis has been starting up all summer, and the heroes are in a very bad spot. Spoilers follow, so if you intend on reading anything Pre-Infinite Crisis #1 (as if!), you might not want to read on.



Several big events kicked off the Crisis:

In the pages of "Batman/Superman," we saw Kara Zor-El, Kal-El's cousin Supergirl land on Earth, in the remains of a Krypotnite meteor Luthor blamed Superman for bringing to Earth. Supergirl has been introduced in several incarnations, but the last time she was Supes' cousin was during Crisis on Infinite Earths back in 1985, where she died fighting the Anti-Monitor. Her reappearance (to us, the current heroes do not recall the events of her death) is a huge sign of bad things.

In the pages of "Countdown to Infinite Crisis," we saw a shadowy organization called Checkmate spying on the heroes. Preoccupied with other events, no one listened to Blue Beetle's warnings about Checkmate. He investigated, and found that within Checkmate, the OMAC Project had compete details on the lives of just about every hero in the DC Universe. Maxwell Lord, leader of OMAC, killed Blue Beetle to protect the Project.

In the pages of "The Return of Donna Troy," we saw the return of Wonder Girl, Donna Troy. This has some big mythological implication, but I don't know what the importance of this is...yet. But it's important somehow.

"Green Lantern: Rebirth" saw the ressurection of Hal Jordan, greatest of the Green Lanterns. He was responcible for the last Crisis in DC: Crisis in Time. In it, Mongul and Cyborg (one of the imitation Supermen after his death) destroyed Hal's home, Coast City. Hal went nuts, and killed many GLs, before becoming Paralax, and attempting to recreate the universe. He redeemed himself by sacrificing his life to reignite the Sun, saving Earth. The Green Lantern Corps has been destroyed since then, but with the return of Hal, it is being remade. Prior to his ressurection, Hal had been acting as the human host of The Spectre, the spirit of God's Wrath on the world. A human host held God's Wrath in check, and gave Spectre a sense of perspective. With Hal's ressurection, Spectre no longer has that perspective.

Finally, in "Identity Crisis," among a great murder mystery that I strongly suggest everyone read, it was revealed that a small group within the JLA had been mind-wiping villians. Aside from the ethical problems, and the fear that the villians would be pissed if they found out, it was also revealed that they had mind-wiped Batman when he caught them in the act. Being a detective, Bruce found out (again) that this occured, and quit the JLA. Always paranoid, he's used WayneTech's fortune to construct a satellitte called "Brother 1" to keep constant watch on every metahuman on Earth. Sound like the OMAC Project from earlier? Exactly. Checkmate obtained control of Batman's technology and seeks to control and kill every metahuman on Earth.

Because Batman and the JLA feel the other betrayed them, the entire JLA has dissolved. OMACs, robots programmed with knowledge from the Brother 1 satellite, are swarming the globe, attacking heroes. And Maxwell Lord uses the power of the OMACs to take control of Superman. Wonder Woman tries to fight him, and captures Maxwell and commands him to release Superman. He tells her that he will only be free when Maxwell is dead. And Wonder Woman snaps his neck, while the security cameras in the building capture everything. Within hours, the entire world witnesses as Wonder Woman kills a man. All of a sudden, metahumans look very dangerous.

Despite saving him, Superman disagrees with Diana's actions, so there is a split between the two. In amongst all this, there is a global conflict between the planets Rann and Thranagar, which have always had tense relations (think Athens and Sparta). Kyle Rayner, Guy Gardner, and Killowog (all Green Lanterns) have been dispatched by the Guardians of the Universe to end the dispute. During the war, a space hole opens, which begins rearranging the universe (slowly and subtly). This is disasterous, as Oa, planet of the Guardians, has ALWAYS been the center of the Universe. Now, this space hole is.

The mind-wipes of the villians have worn off, and they are remembering what the heroes have done to the. Lex Luthor and Talia (daughter of Ra's al Ghul) have organized the villians, and reformed the Secret Society of Super Villians. Meanwhile, Spectre was manipulated by Elclipso, who convinced Spectre that since magic is supernatural, and God created nature, magic is against God's will. Spectre has been going apeshit on magicians ever since, and Spectre is one of the most powerful beings in the Universe. Not much can stand against him. While Eclipso's influence has ended, Spectre still feels that magic must die. He has just killed Shazam, the ancient wizard who aids Captain Marvel. Like so many of these paragraphs end, that is a terrible thing.

Interestingly, in Crisis on Infinite Earths, Spectre was aided by all the magicians of the DCU to destroy the Anti-Monitor. It seems like somene has gone out of his way to make sure the magicians aren't around to help Spectre this time...

Lastly, the JLA sattellite headquarters has been blown up, with Martian Manhunter onboard. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman arrived on the scene a few minutes later, to find out what happened. There's quite a disagreement, Superman angry with Wonder Woman committing murder, Batman angry that Superman is being a pussy, and Diana angry that the others don't realize they're at war. On Earth, Donna Troy (Wonder Girl) is taking most of the Teen Titans to fight something unspecified in space, Atlantis' magicians has attacted the attention of Spectre, and the Secret Society of Super Villians has possibly killed the Freedom Force (led by Uncle Sam).

So, who could possibly save the Earth? None other than refugees from the Crisis on Infinite Earths! Parallel Universe characters: Earth II Superman (who fought in World War 2), Earth Prime Superboy (the young Superman), and Earth III Lex Luthor Jr, the son of Lex from a parallel Earth where Lex fought the Crime Syndicate, evil versions of the JLA. They were the only survivors from parallel Earths that were destroyed in the Crisis in 1985. Thought to be gone, they have just left their Limbo to battle in the Crisis of 2005.



Damn, I should put so much work into studying.

 

Mark...

...explain to me what is going on in Infinite Crisis. We need to nerd this place up a little before it attracts attention. How can we pose as internet dweebs without discussing:

a. movies
b. comic books
c. video games
d. cheerleaders making out in bathrooms

Oh, and everyone else -- I need help with my Philly sports news. Last I heard, T.O. was charged with murdering a Phillies pitcher after Ed Wade's replacement threatened a SEPTA strike. But I might have gotten that mixed up down here in Virginnie.

Monday, November 07, 2005

 

Hey...

...not having a computer in my apartment sucks...how am I supposed to crow about scoring 111 points in fantasy this week if I can't check the score?

Struls, I'm taking your playoff spot.

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