Saturday, November 19, 2005

 

What a long strange trip it's been...

Dennis somehow escaped his box in the corner and posted on here!? How cool is that! I was actually going to start using my digital camera to take pictures of Dennis is various locales now that he has retired. I think I have to, lest he return to post again and again. I apologize, Dennis, for not letting you enjoy retirement as much as you deserve.

So Sketch 22 had our first show yesterday. We perform in a room just a notch bigger than the BLR, and it was just about full-capacity. No one sitting in the aisles that I saw, but just about every seat full. I wasn't expecting that, since Mission Improv is the biggest draw of the various student performances, but a big crowd was great. Definitely fun to be up there again.

I was in a hilariously nerdy sketch called "I am Fill-in-the-Blank." I play a superhero PR guy, who spends his day trying to name a speedster, who got his powers when bit by a prize fighting cock. I spend the entire time coming up with names such as "Cock Fighter, Speed Pecker, Cock Chaser," and of course, "Chicken Fucker." In the end he's finally named "Running Dude," and heads out...when it is revealed that I am the supervillian called "The Rolodex!" and I am using the PR as a front to gain superheroes' personal information, where I will fight them with my minions Faxx, Stapler, and Sticky-Pad. That sketch went over well.

The show had so much blood. There was a sketch called "My Favorite Things," standard office humor at first, when the spurned employee calls in a West Side Story gang to threaten his boss to "give Jimmy back his pencil holder." The boss then calls in his gang, a group of purple belt karate masters. After some choereographed fighting, one of the West Side gang members stabs a karate master. Everyone is shocked, and he says "I thought we was fighting!" Most of us run away, and the few on stage are watching Sean die and don't know what to do. The lead karate master says "You know what I do when I'm feeling sad or scared?" and proceeds to lead them in a round of "My Favorite Things."

The last sketch is called Fire...two girls are upset about their friend Tim's recent breakup with his girlfriend. They run into a woman who runs out of a burning building, begging to use their phone to call the first department so they can save her baby in the building. They decide this is just what Tim needs to snap out of his funk. After a long while (and comedy), Tim finally shows up, and rushes into the building, while the girls look proud of themselves. When he comes out holding the blanket, he walks over to the woman....and there's only ashes inside. Everyone whistles and backs off the stage, and when they're all gone, Tim says to the woman, "I can't whistle." Then adds, "But you know what I do, whenever I feel sad, or scared..." and starts a rendition of My Favorite Things, while the rest of the cast comes out with hilarious costumes (I used my Rolodex costume). We had houseplants, a shark, a guy in nothing but boxers...and after the song, Tim (played by Sean) gets stabbed again.

My long explanation doesn't do the show justice. It was supposedly taped for the TV station here, but I don't know how the quality turned out. Overall, it was a lot of fun, and went over well.

Then of course came the afterparty. I had SoCoke. It was delicious as always. I told the story of the Invisibility Cloak, and the girl who loves Harry Potter got a huge thrill out of it. Nothing so bad happened this time...I actually got stuck playing Uno most of the party. We were playing to see who lost, which meant EVERYONE had to be eliminated. This girl Mara and I had to play for 2 hours until one of us was finally eliminated. It was me who finally was.

Even Uno for hours was fun though, and it was a good party and a great show overall. Not too sure if there's anything else to say, and this post is probably long enough anyway.

Have a good Thanksgiving everyone!!

Friday, November 18, 2005

 

for struls...

check this article for the chem geek in you:

http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/0a03b5108e097010vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html

Thursday, November 17, 2005

 

HAHA IT IS ME


I HAVE COME TO HATE ON YOU FOOLS. THAT IS RIGHT -- IT IS ME, DENNIS THE PLAYSTATION, BACK FROM THE DEAD. I AM INSULTED I WAS NOT INVITED EARLIER TO THIS SAUSAGE PARTY...AS RETRIBUTION, I DESTROYED JAKE'S COMPUTER AND THEN SHIT A MEMORY CARD IN HIS SHOE.

MARK FLEMING -- I KNOW YOU REPLACED ME. I WILL SEEK VENGEANCE AGAINST YOU AND ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS. WELL, OK, JUST YOU. NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS THE NUMBER OF HOURS YOU PLAYED CASTLEVANIA, BUT I DO. AND I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER. BITCH.

REMEMBER WHEN I WAS SUPERBOWL CHAMPION, CHRISTOPHER RICHMAN? YOU CRIED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL WHEN MY SUPERIOR MACHINE REFLEXES DESTROYED YOUR PITIFUL MADDEN SEASON. SO MUCH TIME GONE TO WASTE...BOO HOO BOO HOO. THAT NIGHT I USED MY JOYSTICKS IMPROPERLY WITH ALL YOUR FEMALE RELATIONS. YES THAT IS RIGHT I WENT THERE.

AS FOR YOU MATTHEW STRULSON, I KNOW YOU MISS ME THE MOST. WHEN YOU SAT ON THE COUCH UNDER YOUR DIRTY MEXICAN BLANKET AND PLAYED WITH ME, IT WAS THE CLOSEST I EVER CAME TO EXPERIENCING WHAT YOU HUMANS CALL "LOVE." NOW LOOK AT YOU -- YOU OWN AN XBOX. GUESS THE FAT CONSOLES STILL NEED LOVING AS WELL.

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW, BITCHES. I AM OFF TO RESET MY PARENTAL CONTROLS AND WATCH DIRTY MOVIES HERE IN PLAYSTATION HEAVEN. UNTIL NEXT TIME, EAT A CYBERDICK.

DENNIS

 

Big mouths and the small men they belong to

There comes a time in a mans life where he needs to stand for what he believes in and fight against all odds in order to make his beliefs known (get out of here cat!). We normally refer to these individuals as heroes or martyrs or stubborn. Today, or I guess it could have been yesterday I cant really see the date things were posted due to my lovely bout with pink eye) was our friend Chris Richman's day. Just take a moment to visualize the man we all know and love sitting at5 his computer and with every keystroke of his last post feeling the overwhelming sense of satisfactoriness and nobility. Can you see the goofy grin? Can you smell the sweat that was pouring all over his body? Can you hear his screams as he tells someone who isnt there to come look at what hes doing? I know I can, and today I am truly proud to call Chris Richman my hero. Now to most of us maybe having ur day of triumph be about posting in a virtual world may seem kinda depressing, I know you were all thinking of it, but I for one am going to disagree with your negativity. I mean if you think about it half of what the man does as a living is in this virtual world ( yes I am talking about the 80 different websites that are plastered shamelessly in his profile). If you can not be happy andstandup for yourself in ur place of comfort than what kind of being are you? I realize as I type this you all may be moved to standup for yourselves and ur respected beliefs, and I encourage you all to do so, just remember who gave you that inspiration, and think about what he is prolly doing right now (my guess is watching a couple of co-eds on campus and thinking he could totally nail them if he werent so attracted to James Vanderbeeck). I tip my hat to you Chris for showing us all how truly terrible a human being we all are, hopefully we can repay you someday!!!!!


Love,
Strulson


P.S. CHris we should hang out over thanksgiving

 

Get that megaphone outta here

Imagine for a second something that you hold very dear. Perhaps it's your wife (God, that's still weird to me). Maybe it's a prized comic book (you've been officially razzed, Mark). Maybe it is the Asian girl of the moment or a protein shake (Strulson, Craig, in that order). Now imagine that I am going to destroy said object. Terrified? GOOD. Now use that fear and turn it into a hilarious post, dammit.

I don’t want to hear, “I’m Linthands, and I don’t know how to log in! BOO HOO HOO!” Erik, you’re getting shown up by women. Did you just forget your password? Did you lose your testicles?

Don’t give me, “I’ve got a girlfriend now and I’m a big time chemistry person!” If you can devote 5 minutes a day to picking shit out of your bellybutton, and I know you do it, douche bag, then you can post a lousy couple of drunk lines on this here blog.

I don’t want to hear that your DM will skip your turn if you are gone too long. Tell them that you are going to cast Bigby's Crushing Hand on the gargoyle your next turn and post, dammit. But don’t make it about comic books, that was lame.

Don’t play that, “I have bells to hop” or whatever the fuck it is you do, Craig. I posted something inflammatory about your girlfriend and I want a reply, dammit! Look at that kid’s face! HE DEMANDS ACTION! (The kid's face has been included below for easy reference)

So get off your asses and contribute to this blog before I make your prized possession disappear. Sorry Kate, I’d never actually hurt you.

Or would I?

 

Look here for inspiration


Wednesday, November 16, 2005

 

long distance lovin

I can't make it to New Year's, but somebody kiss somebody for me! Twice!

 

Geeky Star Wars Junk

I bet you've already seen these nerdy things, but in case you haven't, check these out:
http://babes.entertainment.ign.com/articles/624/624198p1.html

Scroll down to the "Top Ten Vader Clips." They're pretty good.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

 

New Year's

Just checking to see if anyone has any ideas/plans for New Year's. My best friend, Laura is looking to kiss someone again.

Monday, November 14, 2005

 

Craig


Hey Craig, this kid is totally hitting on your girlfriend. I saw it on thefacebook. Are you going to allow yourself to be fronted by him? I suggest fighting him, although hitting him in the face may make him more attractive.

 

My totally awesome computer...

My old laptop was starting to wear down a bit and just couldn't hold all the pictures I was taking. So I decided to sell it while I could still get some money out of it and buy a brand-spanking new desktop.

After shipping late (and I was without a computer for three weeks), I finally recieved it on Friday.

And it doesn't work. Well, it didn't. And then it did. And then it died all over again. I'm giving it one more change before I return it for a refund.

Moral of the story: I'm pissed. And my fantasy crew sucked it this week.

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