Tuesday, December 13, 2005

 

KWANZAA DOG!



How could I resist?

Monday, December 12, 2005

 

CHRISTMAS DOG!


 

Go Turtle, Go Turtle, Go!


*Note: Names have been changed to protect the reptilian.

My roommate owns a turtle named *Sheldon. When I first met Sheldon, all he did was swim around the bottom of his fish tank, clawing at the corner as if he was trying to dig his way out. His habitat is right outside of my bedroom, sitting on the kitchen counter. There's nothing like hearing the pathetic Shawshank-like escape attempts of a turtle in the middle of the night to make you feel all warm inside.

The other weekend, however, was the beginning of a change in Sheldon's short life. Steph found him swimming around the tank with a huge bump on the left side of his head. Naturally, she thought he swallowed a pebble and just decided to keep it in the side of his mouth. A few calls later to some animal hospitals, she found herself driving up to Fairfax (~45 min north of Fredericksburg) with Sheldon buckled in. This lavish animal hospital boasted 3 floors & multiple sections based on the type of animal. She was sent to the "Eastern Wildlife" floor to where she hoped the pebble could be dislodged from his tiny throat quickly. While in the waiting room, she witnessed a rather privileged woman sign in her chinchilla for a regular check-up and a high school kid go in with his snake, come back out snakeless with his head hung low (Charlie Brown-style).

After being babied by the doctor and nurse, it turns out that Sheldon had developed an ear infection (which may have been caused by dirty water). As Steph watched the doctor and nurse care for Sheldon, she decided that she just couldn't ask for him back and run him over in the parking lot as she had planned to do. So our little turtle friend underwent surgery. And by that I mean - they put him under anesthesia, cut him open, and had to keep him overnight to fully recover. Hundreds of dollars later (I do not lie), Sheldon has 5 weeks worth of shots that we must give him prevent further infection. All of this for a $25 online turtle purchase a couple years ago.

The story does not end here, my friends.

To make up for being a bad pet owner - Steph hooked up Sheldon's tank with a filter, huge rocks for him to roam on & more water to let him swim around. In the process, she also bought feeder fish to see if he would eat them or just live with them peacefully. Let me tell you - our anticipation for the moment the fish were introduced to Sheldon's habitat reached an all time high on Thursday night last week.

When let loose in the tank, the six fish swarmed around Sheldon - and he did what any normal domesticated turtle would do - he curled up at the bottom of the tank and pulled his head into his shell. Then he wised up and popped out, only to start attacking the fish like a born predator. It was the single most entertaining thing I have ever seen in my life. Sheldon was reborn. Catching one at a time by the tail, he swallowed them whole. After he was done with those fish - we were hooked like an addict. Immediately a run to the pet store was in order and we returned with what were deemed "medium" and “huge“ goldfish. We added the medium fish hoping that we could bring him up to the larger goldfish - as to not scare him. The medium fish were a little faster & he had some trouble getting at them. He proceeded to catch the medium fish and since they were more than bite size he ripped those suckers in half by clawing at them. Then like little children, we couldn't contain our excitement any more - we added the large goldfish to the tank. But alas - Sheldon was full. I went to bed that night, but was awoken by the screams of Steph, her boyfriend & our neighbors who were witnessing Sheldon tearing at the larger goldfish and from the gruesome recap the next morning he was ripping its heart from its tiny body. It was a fish massacre!

We seriously need to cancel our cable now - for Sheldon is our main source of entertainment in the apartment. It's slightly pathetic, but if you make fun of me - I will sic my predator turtle on you!


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