Saturday, September 09, 2006

 

Bar fight

In America I hate bars. I never want to go to bars because I am afraid of people that go to bars. Let’s pretend for a moment that we are all out at a bar and some no neck Abercrombie Rugby shirt wearing frat guys decide they want to pick a fight. What role would you play in the fight? Here is what I think will happen.

Me: I will get very excited at first, then I will get a huge stomach ache, vacate my bowels and fall to the ground in embarrassment and pleasure... ecstasy really.

Mark: Marks patented creepy touch maneuver will serve only to excite the baddies even more and once they throw mark through a plate glass window like a Muppet, they will turn their attention back to us.

Strulson: who had just revealed that his tinglies are back in his jinglies, will confuse the dumb predators by openly staring and poking... himself.

Jake: Will take this moment to snap a few pictures of a tiny bird that somehow found his way into the bar. (This gentle creature out of its calm natural environment is well worth 12+ comments in the "gentle creature out of its natural environment" flickr group). Unfortunately the flash puts the group of no-necks into a blind rage state and the next few pictures Jake takes are a flurry of fists and blood and teeth and a kitten.

Eric: Stands up to do his part... hits his head on the ceiling fan... is whipped around a few times and then thrown into a fully recovered and creepily charging Mark. The two then fall into my feces and I again enter a state of pure sexual rapture.

Chris: Hides under a table... standing.

Grossnickle: Uses her womanly advantage stuns the charging orc-minded herd by flashing them (Mark enters a state of pure sexual rapture). The herd quickly recovers because they remember how just last night they oiled each other up and re-enacted selected scenes from the transporter. Each discovering that they, infact, were pinkish. Take out their rage and confusion by pummeling poor Steph into a million pieces.

Strulson: still staring and poking.

I say this because I have met so many people in Kawanoe whom could turn the tide for us in this fight. Just last night I met the second best fighter in a certain type of Karate... in the world! He was beaten by one Mongolian guy. The best part is he was a super nice guy... and totally lop sup doi. Just five minutes before I learned this he grabbed my balls and then screamed to his group that I wasn't that much bigger than him. After I learned this he spent the rest of the night hitting on a chubby girl. So to the sack grabbing, chubby chic fondling, karate masters/surgeons out there please join my team... we need it.

poke poke.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

 

The Life and Times of Matthew K. Strulson

Hey whats up party people? So I want to start off with a question for the guys in the house (say YEA!!), have you ever gotten the "pins and needles" feeling in your balls? It totally happened to me yesterday after I rode one of those exercise bikes for 20 min. It was the scariest shit ever, at first I thought it was my cell phone goin off just cause it had a weird tingle to it, but then I realized my cell phone was in my bookbag. Once I realized what it was I tried to think of ways to get rid of it, but slapping my balls on a table didnt sound all that great, so instead I tried to discretely poke at them to make the feeling go away. Sorry if that was too graphic, if you need to go to the bathroom and "relieve yourself" now is prolly a good time to do that.
Other than my tingly balls things out here in St. Louis have gone pretty good, my apartment is nice, please feel free to visit, except for the road by my apt has some metal plate on it and everytime a car goes over it it sounds like someone is knocking on my door. Now I know most the time its the cars, but like every 5 min I go check to see if anyone is at the door (and there is never anyone there). Things are already busy for me, but I did get a chance to visit bucknell last weekend which was nice to be able to visit Meghan. There is also a chance right now that I may be at Etown for homecoming since I have Fall break that weekend, still not 100% sure on this but its def a possibility. Well this has gotten too long and I am hungry so later.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

 

Talk Amongst Yourselves

Topic: The new facebook -- addictive stalking machine or Mark Fleming's senior project?

 

Hey Chris

Dude, I willsend a check as soon as I actually get checks (I opened a new bank account out here and have not received any yet). I will eventually write a longer post on here, but I have class in like 6 min, and counting. I just wanted to ask what the hype is on the phillies right now in Philly. ESPN sux and never really covers them so I would like to know what you guys think, personally I hope they make it to the playoffs cause they'll likely play ST. Louis, which means I am finding a way to get playoff tix. OK PEACE!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

 

Photo Prints

delicate strength

I know I've offered to make prints before, and you've all been kind enough to show some interest -- well, I think my latest batch is probably my best work, so if anyone is still interested, drop me a line.

 

More active

So I'm working again at Rowan, which means I'll be in front of a computer and posting more. I've been really busy and not doing much in terms of the Internet recently.

The next time I post a 173, I'll be able to actually make some jokes...I'm thinking tomorrow.

Jake, Struls, and Mark--you all still owe me fantasy football money. The Yardley boys (and girl) are making you look like chumps.

While I fully expect Jake to beat me Week 1, I still will talk trash. I'll win!

Jake, when do you officially hear the results of the chocolate contest?

Love you Craig and Steph, although I'd love you both more if you used paragraph breaks.

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