Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Hi Everyone
So how am I supposed to brag about being in the lead of the NCAA pool if nobody ever posts over there? I'm just going to have to drag my shameful lack of humility over to the blog.
I noticed I was the only one with a 173 joke so far this week. I take it as a testament to my awesomeness that I silenced each of you with a joke so witty that you literally had no follow-up.
I've told this story a few times already, but I don't think I've ever posted it, so here goes:
I was walking off the DC metro a few weeks ago on my way home from photography class, minding my own business and daydreaming about who would win in a fight, batman or tommy the green ranger, when the girl in front of my stopped suddenly. It seems she was taking off her headphones and accidentally managed to wrap them around a pole in the middle of the train.
The headphones were the type that clip onto your ear, rather than the headband style or earplug kind. The reason this is important is because the clips actually caught on the wire, like a miniature grappling hook. The girl had pretty much grappled herself to the metro car's pole (+1 for batman).
Two other people in front of me turned around to help her, but when a metro train stops, the doors only remain open for a few moments and then close somewhat violently. It's unlike an elevator in that these doors will not retract. If, in a moment of sight-gag hilarity, you ever decide to visit DC and thrust your balls outward towards the pentagon, you can be sure that your protest will be quickly neutered.
The girl was totally screwed as she had yet to remove her ipod from her pocket and the headphones were becoming more and more tangled around the pole. The two other helpers bailed so that they could get off the train before missing their stop, so it was just me and her frantically trying to undo the knot. As I worked the cord, my inner maniac magee took over. I worried that I would make the knot worse and have to abandon her, but, as if in slow motion, I unkinked the cord and hurried her off of the train just as the doors were closing. If I had been wearing a hat, I would have surely knocked it off of my own head just to experience the thrill of reaching back for it in true Indiana Jones fashion.
On the long walk up the platform to exit the metro, the girl I had helped was incredibly embarrassed -- I could tell from her red cheeks and ample bosom. She thanked me profusely, and when I just smiled, she thanked me profanely, which seemed rather unlady-like, but who am I to judge? I am just one man, riding the train and helping unshuffle those whose shuffles have gone kerfluffle.
I noticed I was the only one with a 173 joke so far this week. I take it as a testament to my awesomeness that I silenced each of you with a joke so witty that you literally had no follow-up.
I've told this story a few times already, but I don't think I've ever posted it, so here goes:
I was walking off the DC metro a few weeks ago on my way home from photography class, minding my own business and daydreaming about who would win in a fight, batman or tommy the green ranger, when the girl in front of my stopped suddenly. It seems she was taking off her headphones and accidentally managed to wrap them around a pole in the middle of the train.
The headphones were the type that clip onto your ear, rather than the headband style or earplug kind. The reason this is important is because the clips actually caught on the wire, like a miniature grappling hook. The girl had pretty much grappled herself to the metro car's pole (+1 for batman).
Two other people in front of me turned around to help her, but when a metro train stops, the doors only remain open for a few moments and then close somewhat violently. It's unlike an elevator in that these doors will not retract. If, in a moment of sight-gag hilarity, you ever decide to visit DC and thrust your balls outward towards the pentagon, you can be sure that your protest will be quickly neutered.
The girl was totally screwed as she had yet to remove her ipod from her pocket and the headphones were becoming more and more tangled around the pole. The two other helpers bailed so that they could get off the train before missing their stop, so it was just me and her frantically trying to undo the knot. As I worked the cord, my inner maniac magee took over. I worried that I would make the knot worse and have to abandon her, but, as if in slow motion, I unkinked the cord and hurried her off of the train just as the doors were closing. If I had been wearing a hat, I would have surely knocked it off of my own head just to experience the thrill of reaching back for it in true Indiana Jones fashion.
On the long walk up the platform to exit the metro, the girl I had helped was incredibly embarrassed -- I could tell from her red cheeks and ample bosom. She thanked me profusely, and when I just smiled, she thanked me profanely, which seemed rather unlady-like, but who am I to judge? I am just one man, riding the train and helping unshuffle those whose shuffles have gone kerfluffle.
# posted by Jake and Elspeth @ 12:57 PM 
Comments:
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>>I'm just going to have to drag my shameful lack of humility over to the blog.
>>I take it as a testament to my awesomeness that I silenced each of you with a joke so witty that you literally had no follow-up.
Boy, you really followed through with that promise!
This week is our Spring Break, and somehow I've been overwhelmed. I'll be posting a life update soon, I think.
I don't think I've heard that story, but you're like a modern day superhero! Selflessly helping those who, no matter how much you do, will one day curse your name. Just like the Green Goblin promised!
Sorry, been watching some Spider-Man movies of late.
Because I'm far too lazy to check emails, is the baseball draft on Sunday?
>>I take it as a testament to my awesomeness that I silenced each of you with a joke so witty that you literally had no follow-up.
Boy, you really followed through with that promise!
This week is our Spring Break, and somehow I've been overwhelmed. I'll be posting a life update soon, I think.
I don't think I've heard that story, but you're like a modern day superhero! Selflessly helping those who, no matter how much you do, will one day curse your name. Just like the Green Goblin promised!
Sorry, been watching some Spider-Man movies of late.
Because I'm far too lazy to check emails, is the baseball draft on Sunday?
The baseball draft is indeed this Sunday at 4. We could use a few extra people if anyone wants to send out invites...Jake, didn't your dad always want to play? It's $10 to get in.
And Jake...can I be your Robin?
And Jake...can I be your Robin?
I'll ask if he's interested, same with my brother. I still need to send you my money, so I'll cover them if they want to play.
Chris, you were my Robin, but now you're more like Nightwing, all on your own in a different city. Now Laurie's my girl Robin. Soon Mark and I will have a crossover event just to sell more issues. But it will have a one-time-only foil cover, so that's sweet.
Chris, you were my Robin, but now you're more like Nightwing, all on your own in a different city. Now Laurie's my girl Robin. Soon Mark and I will have a crossover event just to sell more issues. But it will have a one-time-only foil cover, so that's sweet.
I'll send some invites around here. I'm in a league with a few of my housemates, so they might be willing to throw down some cash and join in. I'll let you know.
I'll send some invites around here. I'm in a league with a few of my housemates, so they might be willing to throw down some cash and join in. I'll let you know.
okay I don't at all get how she could possibly have wrapped her headphones around a pole? And that is saying a lot coming from the woman who can spill on or trip over ANYTHING.
...Jake are you sure you're not hallucinating ... or better yet, did YOU tangle the headphones so you would have a chance to play superhero? If so, job well done. And I too would like to be in the crossover series. I just have to find my own superheroine adventure to make first.
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...Jake are you sure you're not hallucinating ... or better yet, did YOU tangle the headphones so you would have a chance to play superhero? If so, job well done. And I too would like to be in the crossover series. I just have to find my own superheroine adventure to make first.
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