The Virtual Apimpment

173 man-hating washing machines walk into a bar and deter gents.

173 washing machines walk into a bar and get loaded. (obvious +1)

173 washing machines walk into a bar, full of cheer.

173 homeless guys
 

173 homeless guys walk into a bar, drink for a while, then walk out for a minute to use the bathroom. When they come back, the bartender says, "Why didn't you just use the bathroom in here?" The homeless guys say, "We wanted to pee where we were going to sleep tonight to claim it." The bartender says, "Wow, that's a real benchmark."

173 washing machines walk into a bar. Everyone there assumes they want to get laid. Indignant, they reply, "Hey, we're just looking to snuggle!"

173 rats.
 

173 famous rats walk into a bar and ones tries to sell the bartender a drink. He refuses, and says "That's the most backwards star I've ever met."

173 homeless guys walk into a New York bar and tell the bartender their sob story. "We used to live in a fancy clothing district, but then we lost all of our money investing in risky stocks."
"So you're soho hobos with so-so portfolios?"

173 editors
 

Jesus Christ. That punchline was ridiculous. P.S. We're the only ones playing.

Why were the rats famous?

173 editors walk into a bar and spot an ugly woman. They walk up to her and, in red pen, write: "Needs work."

173 editors walk into a bar, looking for someone to play with their dangling modifiers.

173 Burger King Kings.
 

rats is star backwards. i was more-than-possibly too creative on that one.

should've known you'd be money on the editor jokes. i wonder where everyone else is?

173 editors walk into a bar looking to Funk some Wagnalls.

173 Burger King Kings walk into a bar, significantly freaking everyone out while establishing brand loyalty through viral marketing.

173 klingons
 

Yeah, I got that stars was rats backwards, but for some reason I didn't connect it with the famous from earlier. My fault, not yours. Funk Wagnall. haha.

173 klingons walk into a bar. They spot an old, African American prostitute, talk her up and get set to leave with her. As they're walking out the door, the bartender says, "You know, guys, you could probably do better than get blowjobs from her." The klingons reply, "Nah, we like brown, wrinkled head."


The following joke would only work with lots of fake enthusiasm:
173 Burger King Kings sneak into a bar where there's a giant fish framed above the bar. "Wow!" they say. "That fish is a whopper!"

LOLOL!

173 mystery shoppers
 

173 washing machines walk into a bar looking all cool and immediately start asking women if they'd like to go for a spin.

173 washing machines walk into a bar and start bragging about about their sexual abilities. "Baby we're industrial size -- 3 times bigger than average" says one particularly smooth Maytag.
"Yeah, but the problem is the job is over three times faster too," says one not so smooth Maytag, who later had to be replaced for structural damage.

173 female editors walk into a bar and ask the attractive man at the bar if they can see his inverted pyramid.

173 female editors walk into the bar and start flirting with some men; they stop when the men ask to buy them drinks because they don't want to lead them on.

173 washington post editors walk into a bar and approach a woman with their usual line: "you deepthroat?"

173 rats walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for a table of women in the corner; they're just laying their bait.

173 burger king kings walk into a bar on xmas day while the eagles are playing the cowboys -- they shout, "man they're gettin broiled baby!"


Okay don't say I never tried at anything.
 

Loved them, Steph.
 

that deepthroat one had me dying. so funny.